Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Corporate Shenanigans

The executive assistant I had worked with quit her job two weeks after I was let go. She brought along a host of juicy gossip over wine and cigarettes at the park. Like how ...

... her (former) boss is allegedly putting up his mistress in one of the chic downtown condos he owns. Her boss has a well-known reputation for being the most arrogant, precious, coddled, and demeaning person in the industry. He tried to make Harvey Weinstein wait at a meeting, just out of sheer unmatched ego. "Harvey is a household name," she says. "He is no Harvey."

... my (former) boss likes to get rip-roaring drunk and did so at the recent charity golf tournament. His $135,000+ car (charged to the company account) had to be driven back to the office by some underling. He then proceeds to throw a tantrum because she parked it in the wrong spot. In an unrelated incident: the assistant selected to replace me went into his office to clean up the water he had spilt when he broke his glass. She had to pat around him because he refused to acknowledge her presence and proceeded to continue his conversation with his colleague over her head. (*Note: Oddly enough, I never encountered this kind of behaviour from him. I guess he didn't feel like he could be himself around me. Ha!)

... the hiring process with regards to assistants is based on how attractive the executives find them. This admission made me feel soooo dirty. Can you imagine being hired to be ogled at by a bunch of petty, middle-aged fat cats?

... when they travel to markets (to purchase films), they act like a bunch of lecherous frat boys. I am not surprised by that revelation. How much fucking golf can someone take before they need to go fuck a ho in France?

... the hardest worker there, who idolizes these evil men in corner offices and sacrifices her life for them, is actually considered "weak" and "desperate" by her closest mentor. Why? Because he said she didn't "fight harder" for her raise. Yet, even with her promotion, she still goes on coffee runs for them and sends their photos to hotels beforehand so the staff will recognize their big heads when they arrive.

Lesson learned: You can either give up your soul for the carrot or get fired for not playing the game. Either way, they'll never let a girl join the big boys table.

Shit, I need to go smoke a bowl.

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