Wednesday, January 26, 2011


What am I going to do with my roommates? I hardly spend any substantial time at home, yet I have gripes that won't go away. Maybe it's because I don't have prior experience, but that hardly qualifies me as a miserable twit. Here's a list of their bothersome habits:

1. Both girls have their boyfriends over on a regular basis. To the point where they might as well be full-time tenants. If I wanted strange men sleeping over daily, I would've advertised thusly.

I hear their sweet nothings through my bedroom wall and heating vent when I'm trying to sleep. It's torture. Not to mention the house parties and the snappy attitude I get when I gently remind them to clean up the booze bottles and muddy lobby afterwards: "Of course we'll clean it up; we had people over!"

Well, excuuuuuse me, but I'm your damn landlord and you girls are naaaaasty.

2. Both my sister and I would take out their trash when they first moved in to help them transition into the new schedule. It's been three months now and they've simply come to expect that their garbage will be thrown out in time. But neither of them lift a finger and don't like me reminding them that, Oh hey, the truck is around the corner, do you mind putting your stuff on the curb?

3. Four people live in the house, yet the roommates' belongings outnumber ours (myself and my sister's) 3:1. There are still unpacked boxes in the living room and furniture in our backyard. They take up the entire fridge, they don't throw out their rotten food, and even after my sister designated our shelves, they migrate to our area when convenient. This means, I've been buying food at work for the past month because I have no room in the fridge to put my groceries. The cupboards are also full of their shit because they've monopolized that too. Did I mention dirty dishes for days?

4. The roommates never turn off the lights and washroom fan. I'm not talking about the porch light, but nearly every light in the house. They pay rent inclusive of utilities, which means my sister and I have to pay for unexpected increases in the bill and I already pay an equal amount of rent to live here.

That's pretty much it. This can't just be me sounding petty, right? When my sister mentioned to them about bringing guys home, they had the audacity to say, "If we had known we weren't allowed to bring people home, we wouldn't have moved here."

My sister said it was okay to have friends over, but their boyfriends are around way too much. "Besides," she told me later, "they never told us they even had boyfriends."

It makes me wonder if people feel shame anymore? I mean, don't they get ashamed when they know other people are picking up after them? Don't they get embarrassed that other people have to parent them? Don't people take responsibility for themselves anymore?

I remember growing up, my mom used to tell me not to do anything that would embarrass her. And putting your feet up while those around you cooked and cleaned was definitely something she'd be mortified by.

If they do decide to move out after we've discussed the issues, my sister is going to advertise the rooms for urban professionals only. Students are the scum of the earth. At least this whole experience has taught my sister how grating her bad habits make me feel. Who knew she'd meet her match and lose?


Adèle said...

Get rid of them.

Seriously, I lived with a a roommate that I had to pick up after, and when I got a new roommate and realized how some people are actually mature and clean and respectful, I swore I would never put up with that shit anymore.

Now I have the best roommates of my life. Clean, quiet, never home.

I think you don't have to advertize for urban pros only, but use words like 'clean', 'quiet', 'mature', 'independent', in your ad. And ask them what their daily life is like.

I'm not assuming you've never screened for roommates, but these are tips I give to everyone.

Some people are normal. Get rid of these girls!! There ain't no shame in wanting to live in a clean place.

Lily said...

When my sister first interviewed them, they didn't mention anything that eventually reared its head. Alas, if only people advertised themselves as, "Pigs, hoarders, and immature drunks."