Pizza delivery dude just trapped me into listening to his 20-minute monologue on the dangers of living alone.
"When I live in Pakistan, I think, '81. I see this man with the bandages, very [gestures narrowness], you know? And he say, 'Don't come near me!' so I say, Okay. I go home, and I BLIND! And you know, I no eat for days! So scared, I was a student. My parents ask me, What happen? What happen? But I no say. I have wife; what I do now? I no eat! City, everything closed. And neighbours, they no help, you see, because sometime [shrugs] you have good neighbours. Sometime, you not.
"And you know that building across from you?" he continued. "I ask what happen to the guy, and his neighbour tell me he die already 8 days and nobody know! Seriously, think about it."
"Thank you," I said with a nervous laugh. "I will get married just for you."
The Hitchcock exam went well. This chick in a cheap brown pashmina kept asking the professor for answers and hints before the test, so I interrupted and reminded her it was "an exam."
The class snickered.
"Well, hello? I have to know the characters' names!" she retorted.
"Maybe you should've studied for them," I countered.
Rawr! That shut her up.
Ugh, spoke too soon. Men are men, they drink and braid hair. The ball might be in his court, but I'm walking off. While I'm trying to avoid the game, it's like I'm being suckered into it too. He looks at me longingly across the auditorium, stands oh-so closely after approaching, then walks away absent-mindedly to mingle with other girls before disappearing off somewhere. Mixed messages? Hell yes. He's just not that into me.
(Oh sure, they might've invited me out and I decided to leave them before they returned. But he didn't personally ask me; I don't want to get stuck playing the "get to know you" role alone. What a goof. Shyness, aloofness, they're both cowardess in cock-speak.)
(And yes, I do realize I'm doing the "reject him before he can reject me" thing. Stop judging!)
(Crappazoa! Maybe he has a girlfriend! Maybe THAT was his girlfriend!)
(Oh. My. 300 thread count. I was led on ... AGAIN!)
(I will snuggle up to Mondovino, The Prize Winner of Defiance, Ohio, American Splendor, The Syrian Bride, and Network this week because movies: they're dependably satisfying. Bah! Dating is for dummies. Boo~ jerks! Boo jerks 4ever! How's that crocheted on a tankini?)
(The buffalo wings just came - meat make things good.)
(They're cold now! Damn you, pizza guy! Life suxxxx!)