Saturday, April 29, 2006

Camera shy

The worst part of being a hair model is the waiting. People command you around the salon like a pug trainer. Sit here, dah-ling. Sit there. You try to use your psychic abilities to absorb the formula faster, and eagerly await your turn. Sometimes, if you are lucky - as I, thankfully, was - the stylist will be a good conversationalist whereupon the tediousness of the whole situation will not dawn on you until you're up on stage and being visually prodded with eyes of intense scrutiny.

"Est-ce que vous avez du jus d'ananas?" I ask the shampoo girl. She hands me a glass. I feel guilty, but after four hours in a too-chic chair, my request seems justifiable. I down two flutes and go back to reading W.

"What sort of hair is the hardest to cut?" I inquire M before the show.

"Yours," he says, without hesitation.

"Really, and the cut?" I continue, a bit embarrassed.

"Yours," he chuckles. Beads of sweat moisten his brow. "It's the hardest in the industry."

KA-BAM!

Give me thanks to Vidal Sassoon, I guess.

It was fun, I met other quite daring kids. (Teenagers tend to part with their locks a lot quicker than their mature counterparts here.) M had complained to me on the phone how Montreal girls all want to keep their hair quite long and were not very open to experimentation. I gave him permission to do whatever he liked with my mane because, quite frankly, I don't give a damn about it: I have absolutely no emotional attachment. So it was to my utmost surprise - and somewhat disappointment - that M vouched entirely for skill and ultimately gave me - yes, boohoo - a clean, ultra-modern shape with a rock & roll sensibility.

It's beautiful, but too safe, I feel. He made it easy for me to care for! I wanted asymmetry, dangit!

Ah well, he's asked me back for May: maybe I can get him to go a little more Edward Scissorhands. Snip, snip, I know, I know, careful what I wish for. But this London expat is the director, ranked a top Montreal instructor. We have good chemistry and share an aversion to "hairdressy" tactics - too much "creativity," not enough technique - so I trust that he will churn out something simple, yet unfathomably difficult to produce. Besides, I doubt he'd risk looking bad in front of his audience.

And really, would you turn down a three-figure treatment?

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