Wednesday, March 22, 2006

Rant #08: Wankers vs. Integrity

My source told me "a couple of other students" from my school have been contacting him about doing the same story recently. I can't help but suspect my news idea is being ripped-off - although I could just be paranoid. (Although, NorIda did admit to telling fellow classmates about it.) Still, there's a nagging feeling in my gut that's telling me to stop writing the details of my burgeoning professional life as a precautionary measure. I'm positive someone from my program is the culprit behind the nasty messages left on my blog because I tracked down the computer she was using - and it must be a "she" due to the soaring levels of unprovoked cattiness - to a machine located in the university's journalism/communications building.

Juvenile politics are honing in on me. It's high school deja vu with less finesse.


I hate over-privileged racists so much! Sometimes, I just want to kick their ass to Bangladesh and grind their over-bleached heads on a millstone. Today's lecture in one of my communication classes was on race representation in the media. And this WASP raised his hand and basically said racism doesn't exist because tons of ethnic people successfully pass for white so we can't possibly be discriminated against. "White is being normal," he continued. "Or, ya know, like ... hegemony or whatever."

I immediately interrupted him mid-sentence. "What do you mean by 'whiteness'?" I demanded. "We're naturally going to align ourselves with certain groups because we're not 'all the same': ethnicity, gender, they define us! [What you're saying] is so superficial!"

The peanut gallery of coked-up Ugg-outfitted whoreanus hacks groaned and giggled loudly at my expense, alternately whispering and glaring for the rest of the class before tee-heeing their way out in a fur-trimmed haze like a Zsa Zsa Gabor silent zoo auction.

The way they trivialized race relations the entire time made me want to throw them a bone and watch them fight over it for nutrients. It's like these bulimic bitches are leaking brain matter because the insulating powers of semen haven't graced their ears yet. Their sheltered upbringings have made them so ignorant and apathetic, the status quo is a social club they can't wait to join. And when it comes to bullshit, you can cut through theirs with a paper knife. You'd think their mothers would've terminated their pregnancies once they discovered babies didn't come from missed prayer sessions. I ask all that is good, where did evolution take a wrong turn? Fucking cowards to boot. Jonathan Swift wasn't playing around when he was lampooning them.

These people remind me of those drunken broads of yore. I remember one girl saying not-so-discreetly in biology class how I wanted 9/11 to happen because I was from one of those countries. And during my senior year, another dumb chick threatened to round up her buddies to "get me", so I yanked the bag of baby carrots from her hands and beat her with it in the cafeteria. Don't give me that suburban crap, I thought, I was in fistfights since before your legs could carry you to the nearest liquor counter.

You heard right, son. Street cred from the produce aisle - I'm down like that.

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