Saturday, December 17, 2005

Dad's Random Tangents #2

My summer not-fling is on a plane about to land in Toronto in a few short minutes. My dad called to check up on me. I proceeded to tell him about my summer hijinks and the backstory as to why I'm cringing this boy's arrival.

"Daddy," I explained, "He's not, what you say, 'good husband material.' He's over-protective and actually stretches out his arm to prevent me from crossing a busy street! And what is up with that whole will divorce his future wife if she didn't get along with mother-thing? It's weird!"

Without missing a beat, he suggested perhaps the boy should marry the woman instead. ("But don't tell your mother I said that.")

I reminded him that it still didn't solve the dilemma of my having to put on clothes because he's staying with us.

Dad: "What is the English word for 'tolerance?'"

I defended myself. I'm simply not tolerant of the "situation," I said.

Dad: "What do you call someone who is not 'broad-minded' and not 'narrow-minded?'"

me: "I don't know. 'Minded?'"

Dad: "Mild? Not too hot, not too cold? Like barbecue sauce?"

me: "... yes."

***

Sexy Spinster: "Are you coming home tomorrow?"

me: "I could and with little effort. But it took me 7 hours to pull on a pair of underwear today."

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