Wednesday, August 03, 2005

Memoirs of an Opium Queen: Chapter Seven

Chapter Seven: The (Possible) Conclusion or A Witty Title

This time around, I have -- almost -- absolutely nothing to work with: simply an on-and-off twenty minute conversation where not very much was shared. My fault, of course. It was due to my long pauses as co-workers gathered around my cubicle to listen to one of the most nostalgia-inducing albums ever created (and you must all follow the below link and download this album if you ever owned an SNES -- a recreation, in approximate order, of the entire Super Mario World soundtrack, using various instruments and amazing artistic ingenuity -- I would suggest the 35.7M VBR ZIP format, for those less computer-audio-inclined).

Missing Canada terribly, she's currently in Beijing with a horrible foot malady of some sort. The sheep are retaliating. One second you're eating a lamb kebob, the next, your foot is the size of a fine cut o' mutton and, just to piss you off, the elevator operator asks you if you're alright -- I'm sure she just slept on it the wrong way -- as you limp your way through the hospital.

Unfortunately, being bedridden forces one to sit through Jessica Simpson videos ("Where rubber rests not in the tires she's washing"), gape at the "muppet slit" that is Julia Roberts's mouth, and watch Tom Cruise "poo through a tube." On the upside, she has possession of her brother's Japanese PSP, which should be able to kill time before she, against all odds, grabs an early flight home on the 14th -- not sure whether 'home' is Montreal or Hamilton; didn't get a chance to ask.

Sidenote: anyone who will be actually seeing Lily in the near future, be sure to compliment her new glasses, which were, miraculously, purchased the same day I got some new shades. Best part? They're both the Burt Reynolds porn set special.

As I leave you all until the next time Lily bails the country, I ask you all to look into the following musical acts that you may not be aware of:
Bloc Party, Atom and his Package, Against Me!, Refused, Bedouin Soundclash, The Reason, Randy, The Junction, Tegan and Sara, and The Vulcan Dub Squad. From Lily: The Tears suck. Here come the whiners.

Until next time,
-Steve, guest blogger


Postscripts
Oh yah, thanks for the praise Ray, but Lily is far too territorial. I have the teeth marks on my ankles to prove it.

And sorry Liz, but I only read the comments to my first post today ... never meant to neglect!

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