Tuesday, August 16, 2005

The Crying Game

Other than the A+ I received in film studies, this entry will consist primarily of self-pity and whinership. I am desperately seeking an apartment for when I return from Commie Central. The airline is booked solid until the end of the month, so I have a better chance at contracting herpes from a six-year-old than be given early passage home. Luckily, I'm not as nervous about finding a place since NorIda offered to help. She said she's going to look around for me and agreed to handle all the necessary transactions.

I informed my mother of my present budget last night. "How low?" she asked. "It's reached negative figures," I calmly clarified. The phone went silent for a brief, yet not-so-awkward, moment. "Only now?" came her reliable response. The weather here has been shite. Hot one day, cool the next: serving suggestions for breakfast beer. I can't emphasize how humid it is; I'm ready for another shower no sooner after I've reached the sidewalk. It's so freakin' hot, even my grandma has given up on her woolly summer long-johns. (Don't ask. I think she keeps them on even in the shower.)

And seriously, do they ('they' being those kinky bastards on the censorship board) really think showing another movie starring Steven "The Lama" Segal fetishizing an unemployed Asian porn star will actually help with national patriotism? There's nothing else on TV! Okay, I'm exaggerating. Korean soaps here are pretty awesome ("No you didn't just steal your step-sister's boyfriend of five years and married him only to realize your feelings are true, but your mother-in-law now hates you and refuses to eat your dumplings"). And infomercials. I've sat through them all. Over here, the competition is so fierce, they don't even try to cover-up obvious flaws in their marketing package. Like that weight-loss cream featuring the "Before" picture of a Chinese pockmarked schlub and the "After" image of a model taken from an Armani ad. That was plain weird.

Anyway, the point is, I ran out of money so I can't partake in my favourite pastime. And due to my relatives' "safety concerns," I can no longer mindlessly wander. I miss home! And I need an iPod case! Preferably a Miyabi "Kimono" in yellow or teal! Damn that currency exchange! ... Steve?

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