Wednesday, April 06, 2005

Rubber Stopper

My laptop keyboard is officially fucked. Melted chocolate + vigorous micro-surgery that tore off the rubber spring from underneath the letter "A" = a novel solution that requires:

1. tissue paper
2. hands
3. the ability to identify (and create) spherical objects
4. tape

Oh right, and:

5. a brain

This last one I heard is quite helpful for anyone with a Jane Austen appetite for pairing up virtual opposites, like food and electronics (my specialty!). But take it from me: Sunnis and Shiites are more likely to fornicate.

Then again, that would've prevented me from achieving ghetto gold in the field of improvisational ingenuity. (The judging panel includes that guy who invented the rhythm method.) Oh, you think you can do better? You think you can fix a computer with paper clips, a toothpick and some Q-tips?

You and me. Outside. Right now.

It's a bit chilly so don't forget to bring a coat ... Bitch.

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