Friday, February 11, 2005

Two Dryers and a (4/5th) Empty Closet

So this is what four weeks worth of laundry looks like in three washing machines. They stood there side by side, coldly taking my cash card and inspecting it for foul-play before quickly filling their insides with water to deter me from digging. The scene reminded me of a Maytag commercial had it been directed by Stanley Kubrick if he had been in a financial slump reminiscent of Orson Welles (and if clinically deranged people were allowed into SAG. I say "clinically" because no one diagnoses screen stars unless the disorder is hip to have, a la Robert Blake's recent bout with O.J. Simpsonitis. Or anorexia nervosa, its more tabloid-friendly equivalent, which is commonly caused by celebrities who catch themselves off-guard with things in their mouth that don't require rinsing and breathing through their nose.)

Good thing I bought that hamper; those wheels came in handy. Although I did risk looking like an Oriental dim sum server had it not been for my lime green shoes and miniskirt.

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Do I have an alcoholic for a neighbour or was that battle cry to go "shake yar booty" to the hungry tunes of Cat Stevens plain unsettling?

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Looks like nipples are either photoshopped in or out depending on the magazine's target audience. Compare vodka ad in GQ (nipple prominantly erect behind translucent, watered-down dress) with In Style (same ad, but no display of nipple on the perfectly spherical mammary).

Verdict: Heavy-handed but a hit!

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