Sunday, February 06, 2005

19th Birthday in T-minus 4 Months

... and a day.

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Shout out to my sister who turned 13 yesterday.

***

Needless to say, I am equally smitten and torn by M. Biologique. At this point, having sex with the Boy will feel like cheating. Irrational guilt: Am I feeling the unsettling pangs of love or is this all a game of pretense and possession?

But when he holds my hand, I am so disarmed and at ease, I'm in denial of my willing participation and forthcoming paralysis. He makes me re-think whether I am really a commitment-phobe living by the Hedonistic pleasure principle or simply a dodger of discomfort, domestication and the status quo.

And he's so fucking hot, even the lady pool shark was getting wet and bothered.

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