Wednesday, January 12, 2005

Purgatory II

You know you're in trouble when random strangers comment how "in love" you look with your (in)significant other. I encountered the bemused expressions of quite a few ladies who might as well have stammered, "Honey, y'all bit much, donchathink?" I seriously must also have a limp biscuit if I didn't mind - indeed, enjoyed! - having him compare our behaviour to that of a "married couple." (Because everyone smears cake on each other, right?) A trip to the supermarket with M. Biologique turned the checkout counter into Showtime at the Apollo. Our bickering had the cashier and bag boy in tears, they were laughing so hard. My one hour excursion developed into an all night affair as his suggestive comments mutated into unabashed touching until it became part of the natural, produce-picking ambience. He kept making new plans to prolong my evening with him. Everything we said to each other was in jest (including his disapproval of the Boy). Truth is, his silence revealed more (like when I said he couldn't have me.)

I feel so lost. (How fitting would it be if it was a portmanteau word blending "love" and "lust" together? It would describe my current confusion to a T.)

I want M. Biologique but I can't have him so I'm fucking someone else out of spite. (Maybe that describes it better.)


Cut me some slack; I realize I'm the quintessential 18-year-old drama queen. I'll soon be sedated.

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