Tuesday, January 25, 2005

I can do my own bidding, sank you veddy much

A friend introduced me to Preprechaun a few days ago. She kept pestering me to speak to him because he was studying Mandarin this semester. I relented since being paraded around like Chang & Eng wouldn't require any effort. It's good, she commented, that I'm finally warming up to the idea of meeting romantically available men. Huh?

He turned out to be George Costanza with a well-polished dome. Reflective even.

"Hi, my name is Lily. Nice to meet you."

"Nee how mah? Wo jiao [Preprechaun.]"

Flustered, I asked him what he was trying to say. He looked at me pitifully and kept repeating the same thing with a smile and a chuckle, but refusing to give me the English translation. I made a wild guess: "Oh! You call yourself ..." I knew if I didn't eventually crack his Klingondarin, he'd be humiliated. But he approved and explained to his friend that that was how a traditional Chinese greeting was done. He looked over to me for confirmation which, I assumed, was a cue to turn up the corners of my mouth. I said some niceties and left to go back to my reading. My friend followed me.

"I knew you wouldn't find him attractive."

"Uh huh."

A few days earlier, she mentioned how close-minded I am when it comes to meeting new people. I told her I didn't need any help with my social life and that I might have standards but that didn't make me any less "open". I also reminded her how much she hates being with my "intellectual friends" (her words). She shot back that she enjoyed spending time with them "sometimes".

So she called last night to tell me Preprechaun wanted to see me again. I suspiciously asked what she told him.

"That you're antisocial and didn't like people or parties."

Good save, good save.

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