Monday, June 07, 2004

I went to Laura's DeadJournal (Caffeine Cavorter) and read some of her past entries. Her long rant concerning the complexities of teenage relationships (ie. friends suck) inspired me to write something relatively related to her sheer anger and neurosis.

Coming from someone who's been to eight schools (or more. I can't remember), I can only speak from experience when I say, yes, friends do suck. From this, I can only assume, they suck because you no longer connect with them on the emotional level that you once did. Life, to me, is like a subway train: People enter and leave at will, with no affect on its initial direction or speed. If a passenger is disruptive, they eventually leave behind only a shadow of their prior existence in your life. The graffiti they leave on your, previously clean, window panes may still be visible, but you have a choice of wiping them clean with a little mental elbow grease.

Sometimes we forget why we still invest our time with people we end up only vaguely knowing. It's as if curiosity decreases in direct proportion with the time you've spent with them. Yes, loyalty and history may be reasons to stay joined at the hip, but history is just that: Over. It is a state of mind; it wouldn't exist without the present. If there is no present, if the present is merely filled with animosity and jealousy and hate, is that something you want to reminisce of when you turn to the past for comfort?

You can blame yourself for feeling the way you do, and rightly so. But having "high expectations" isn't a flaw, like you've mentioned. They are not even "high" to begin with. They are what you think you deserve in a relationship, which include respect, kindness, loyalty, and top priority.

Put it this way: If you met the people you've known since elementary school now, today, maintenant, would you still take their shit?

Admitting that your friends are impeding on your happiness is difficult. Who are you if it weren't for them? But then again, who are they if it wasn't for you? Maybe it's your turn to give yourself some credit and move on to greener pastures.

Maybe it's time for all of us to add more chapters to our lives, and clean the hastly preserved rubble that lies dormant in our attics.

***

I registered for my courses at Concordia University. French will be taken for approximately six hours every Saturday for the fall semester. What did I do to myself? I sort of just want to get it over with.

My other elective is Philosophy: Critical Thinking. Rather than take its 101 equivalent (which I've done so for the past year or two), I thought the transferable skills available to me in this class would be significantly more useful. The course description reads like a porno ad for the underground literati:

This course is an introduction to argumentaion and reasoning. It focuses on the kinds of arguments one is likely to encounter in academic work, in the media, and in philosophical, social and political debate. The course aims to improve students' ability to advance arguments persuasively and their ability to respond critically to the arguments of others.

Hold up. So what they're saying is, calling someone a Fucker isn't ... reasonable?

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