Monday, January 19, 2004

"What are you doing?" asked Bible Cop.

"Nothing. Literally ... nothing," I replied.

"Want to go to a church thing?"

"When?"

"Now."

"What time do we need to get there by? 'Cause I haven't even put on pants."

"I don't know. I'll change and come get you."

"What is it though? Like, what is ... it? Do I need to pray?"

"No."

So being agnostic and all, I agreed. Fifteen minutes later, Bible Cop was outside my door and we drove to Christian Scrawnwich's youth meeting. Admittably, it was a bit hokey. But hey, to thine own self be true. At least I didn't have to sing along with the in-church band. The one backup singer on stage sounded like high-pitched feedback from a mic. She was that terrible. But when you're in the Lord's house, you let those things slide (forgive and forget or hell ye shall go).

Then we went to pick up the German, drove to Second Cup and stayed there until closing time. Fence Swinger was working and told me "the girls" talked about me during their sleepover recently. "What did they say?" I inquired. "Oh, just that you're really offensive." Oh, haha ... But I'm an equal offender.

So today, a student in my peer tutoring class did his presentation on the hitchhiker's guide to bathroooms. When he finally got to the point describing when toilet paper was invented (fairly recently), another girl pipped, "It took them that long to invent it?" To which I quipped, "Couldn't they have used the pages of the bible?" Laughter ensued. Teacher was not amused:

"Stop it, stop it. That's not funny," said the practicing atheist.

"But it was on Survivor!" I defended.

"No! Not funny Lily! NOT FUNNY!"

Guess it wasn't funny.

Some of my friends think I'm going to get shot for one of my comments, someday. But really, I'm not going to accuse someone of being "ghetto-fabulous" while they're actively participating in a KKK lynching. And it's just a blatant powertrip when you get offended for someone because you feel the need to. Considering PC-ism was created and actively used by early Communists to induce self-censorship, it's rather ironic that, to many, it's not seen that way anymore.

Nosy Neighbour Syndrome: Stop the madness!

No comments: