Thursday, December 04, 2003

So tired. My friends, Bible Cop and Wall Lover, and I went around town today, taking pictures of our math disciple friends. Bible Cop baked cookies, and brought along apple cider and hot chocolate packets, all tied up with ribbon. It was like an episode of COPS, except the soundtrack was made up of the Soundgarden and Outkast, rather than footsteps, grunts, and the "zzzzzz-click" of handcuffs. And instead of running after stereotypical black men minding their own business in the slums of Tristate area, we left Wall Lover's 1984 Crown Vic running in the middle of the road as we hurried off to our next photo op:

"Who's gonna steal that? No really. I mean, it doesn't even have a right side mirror."

I suggested that she should, somehow, attach a powder compact to the side door.

I felt like Zhou Liu Soprano while riding in the backseat of the car (Bible Cop was quick to call "shotgun", 'tis why). The only thing missing was the sound of Salvatore "Big Pussy" Bonpensiero's voice in the midst of talking some real "business".

Like scavengers, we hunted for houses in alien neighbourhoods, guided only by directions roughly comprehensible on the crumpled piece of paper. After locating our targets (and meeting their accompanying guardians), we made them pose with their respectable (okay, humiliating) presents in an awkward embrace, shot using a two dollar camera (packaged in a cardboard jacket, adorned with a rainbow jester dancing with its own shadow). How cheap was it? Well, the zoom function required you to walk towards your intended target.

The parents of one math disciple (I won't say who, but his name rhymes with "Tray") became suspicious of the motives behind visiting their son. I'm guessing it's something along the lines of "carnal urges in their nether regions". Since none of us do, I will accuse Bible Cop of the offense, nonetheless. This allegation is obtained from witnessing her extreme enthusiasm for being allowed to tour "Tray's" Tudor-style home. She also accepted their offer of oranges. This, I believe, was a sly contract the family tricked her into for the purpose of strengthening the family bloodline. Like Persophone, she is now bound to them by blood! But since I'm off the hook, it's all good.

Fun night. Crazy night. All without the help of illegal substances.

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