Tuesday, December 02, 2003

Okay. I got it. I have defined my love for Seth Cohen (played by the non-fictional, Adam Brody *drool*). He is the thinking woman's pin-up. A "gee whiz" sort of guy. Awkward, yet confident. Carries around a smart mouth like Donald Trump does his wallet. Modest and thoughtful. Neurotic, but just the right amount. And when he makes statements like, "No one can ruin Chrismukkah!" I get an overwhelming urge to rip that sweater vest right off his untanned, untoned, body. This, also, reminds me of Topher Grace (who has yet to consummate our love. I mean, the poste office can only lose our marriage license so many times, right? Oh well. There's always Reno). Speaking of which, am I weird for thinking corduroy has done for men what the bustier has done for women? They fit nicely around the tush. They go with any top available in a man's closet that didn't come free in a Molson pack. And they add a bit of ruggedness (dare I say ... naugtiness?) to a man's overall appearance. Now, I might come off as being extremely shallow (or just extremely Lily), but the results of a Sex and the City poll seem to agree with me:

Which of these is your number one dealbreaker in a relationship?

Bad hair ................................. 3%
Bad breath ............................. 29%
Bad style .............................. 40%
Bad in bed .............................. 28%

So hetero ladies agree. If you look like the guy who shows up at Jenny Jones thinking he was in for a makeover, but meets the mother of his fetus instead ... you should re-consider your reason to go on living.

Noose, anyone?

*Sidenote: People say I remind them of that Chinese girl from the Gilmore Girls (you know, the one who's Korean). Well, Two Degrees of Adam Brody later ... he asks me out! Well, not directly. Rather, he asks the character who plays me on TV out, by saying:

I don't smoke. I don't drink. I've never gotten a ticket. I'm healthy. I take care of myself. I floss. I never watch more than thirty minutes of television a night, partly because I think it's a waste of time and partly because there's nothing on. I respect my parents. I do well in school. I never play videogames in case they do someday prove that playing them can turn you into a serial killer. I don't drink coffee. I hate soda because the carbonation freaks me out. I'm happy to give up meat if you feel strongly about it. I don't mind wearing a tie. I enjoy playing those hymns on my guitar. And I really, really want to take your daughter to the prom. Mrs. Kim? Please don’t make me repeat that list again.

Oh man, Topher sure was angry. But c'mon, how do you say no to that?

Don't diss the Jew. Do the Jew.

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