Thursday, October 30, 2003

I'd like to analyse the song "Pennies From Heaven" sung by various people, but done best by Sarah Vaughn (Billy Holiday's version is alright, but I couldn't find her's to download).

Ev'ry time it rains, it rains pennies from heaven
Don'tcha know each cloud contains pennies from heaven?

You know, I wonder what would really happen if it rained pennies. Considering they tell you not to drop pennies from the CN Tower, the consequences might not be all fine and dandy. Those shiny trinkets, as they fall from the sky, might cause mass pandemonium when they start slicin' and dicin', after drizzlin' and sizzlin'.

You'll find your fortune fallin' all over town
Be sure that your umbrella
Is upside down

I don't think it would matter if your umbrella was upside down or not. I mean, those tiny disks of heated metal would just start puncturing your body like Bonnie and Clyde, even with that thin nylon membrane above your mangled head. I can just hear it now: *pop* *pop* *pop* *ssssssss* (<--that's the sound of searing flesh). So, if pennies did fall from heaven, you should save your expensive Burberry umbrella and keep it closed.

Trade them for a package of sunshine and flowers

This verse actually makes the most sense to me. The "sunshine" must refer to the sheen those darn pennies give off as they fall from their mothership (aka. clouds). And those "flowers" are what will be marking your grave after you die a slow, painful, death due to those pennies taking their sweet time lopping off everything, but your vital organs as you bleed from your mortal wounds.

If you want the things you love, you must have showers

Ooh, disgruntled ex-lover. Me like.
But in all honesty, what can you buy for pennies nowadays? Before, you could get a French hooker who brought all her equipment along with a free offer to shave her. Now, you're lucky to get a Nigerian hooker who does naked back massages.

So when you hear it thunder
Don't run under a tree
There'll be pennies from heaven for you and me

Man, that's harsh. It's like wishing someone a successful double suicide near a burning tree. If I hear thunder, I'd jump into the ocean. The water would cool and slow those little fuckers down so they wouldn't reach me in their deadly state (remember that D-Day scene from Saving Private Ryan? *whooosh* *ping* *gurgle, gurgle*). Yes, I'd probably be electrocuted. But that's cool. At least, I wouldn't be the chick who gets killed by a freak dinero storm, then placed in the Human Interest/Oddly Enough section of the newspaper to be laughed at: "What an idiot. I would've brought an upside-down umbrella." And that's just not gravy.

Pffft. Pennies from heaven. Why the Dickens would you want that?

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