Wednesday, September 17, 2003

Santa Maria! I'm a fashion whore. Ooh, revealed too much of myself there.

So last night, while preparing to get into the shower, I had an epiphany. Mr. Cafeteria Eye Candy really is an assho ... I mean, normal average guy. I played it off as "everyone has a good side; it just has to be found." But from what I saw, there is absolutely nothing special about him (other than ... well, I don't want to give away his identity for those who don't already know). Some people say he's actually really smart. But a lazy genius is still a dumbass on paper. But the clincher happenend today, when he wore the most god-awful outfit.

Which brings me to today's thought. Why do guys, at this age, wear dress shirts 6 sizes too big and Weird Al-inspired ties? They look like walking wallpaper that's been shot mercilessly with paintballs. I don't know if they're being ironic or they actually think they're hot shit, but either way, they don't come close to being George Clooney or even Emilio Estevez, for that matter. Maybe it's their nonchalant way of organising a boys dress up day, without looking like they're trying too hard ... or homosexual.

FASHION TIP:

Wear a shirt not currently in your dad's closet. And fine. Wear your damn khakis. But don't put on a damn tie you picked up at the ladies' section to go with it. Just unfasten the two or three top buttons. These tiny suggestions will put you in a position where you can tap anyone's ass.

So quit the fashion faux-pas. Go out there, tuck in your shirt, and be drool-worthy.

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