Tuesday, September 30, 2003

Goddamn, my hands are frozen. Damn you bony, non-blubber insulated, piano-playing, fingers!

I just read, let's say, "Maura's" dead journal. I like it. She fills it with much-needed sound effects and profanity. It's like I'm watching an R-rated movie for the very first time. No, but seriously. Laura's great. Her latest entry talked about how she was so hungry, she was shaking (so that's how she keeps her fine figure ...)

I kept reading and she mentioned me. I was tres flattered. But I re-read it: "I know alot [sic] of people refuse to accept the fact that Lily is awesome but she really really is."

"A lot"? You mean, "a lot" people don't see me as their version of the holy grail? This made me think (while chowing down on pork-derived, artifically-coloured, child-laboured, fun snacks ). If I was so disliked then ... Westm***t rules! Wow. In the words of Shakespeare, "Courtesy would seem to cover sin." To dislike me and not have me know about it is, well ... -- let's just say their patience is extroardinary. I mean, I can name one person who hates me with the rage of ten thousand soccer-loving, Guinness-chugging, chanty-singing hooligans. But a lot? I now understand how people can live in ignorant bliss: by pretending everyone's a friend, so they may tactlessly glean what they need, guilt-free.

"May I borrow your $700US UX50 Sony CLIE to smash against my hammer for a game of ... Wreck-Luxury-Items-For-Fun EXTREME?"

"Um ... I ... uh ... n-nnnn."

"Thanks. I'll come by to pick it up tomorrow. And tell your mom I'd love to join your first family vacation in 12 years."

I guess I can see why I may be disliked. I mean, yes, I ruined some lives. Then kicked them while they were down. But just because no guy can pass you without spitting, or girl, without calling for a mob hit, doesn't mean we still can't be friends. Besides, from one hypocrite to another: resentment is just a way of letting someone else use your mind rent-free ... houer votz wichser!!!

Yes, I just swore in Luxembourgish. Take that, Liechtenstein!

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